Self-Criticism
I am my biggest enemy
This ability to turn a work of art into a document filling up space in my computer is beyond my comprehension. I am an excellent writer, but self criticism is slowly killing my writing career.
I started writing seriously four years ago. This was really motivated by the fact that i wanted to be a better writer. I even started a novel and a poetry book two years ago. Both have never left my computer, because of self-criticism. I mean, I write pages and pages and after reading twice; I hit delete. This has really derailed my progress. It is not that I am ignorant, I know self-criticism is good to some extent but I doubt I am still at that level.
My level of self-criticism is way off the charts, and I think I know why. I feel worthless and it feels like I can meet no expectations. This is because, I am always comparing my work with other articles and I end up finding my piece worthless. So then I trash it or never upload it. All this makes me feel small and I know it is so unfair to myself, but I do it, anyway. As I result I end up with just ideas and half done projects. It is the reason I don’t take writing gigs, because I’m afraid of under-delivering. I remember whenever I did school essays, I still felt like I wasn’t good enough, even when I got the highest score.
Self criticism has affected whatever I put my mind to. I can really narrate all projects I left unfinished because I over criticized myself.
